Thursday, June 29, 2017

Quote for the Day

R v Barker

Caution: Swear words in the post below.

I was discussing with some friends the contents of the post below, which was posted in Bytes in November 2012.  I was encouraged by them to post it again, so for those who have not seen it before, and those who have seen it but don't recall it (those like us, getting older), here it is . . .

On 29 October 1880, Ned Kelly engaged in spirited exchanges with the presiding judge at his murder trial, Mr Justice Redmond Barry. That exchange, in the Supreme Court of Victoria, Melbourne, has been the subject of a previous Bytes and can be read at: 

Some 142 years later, in the Supreme Court of Queensland, Brisbane, one David Allan Baker engaged Mr Justice Martin Daubney in repartee which was also spirited but left a lot to be desired as far as courtesy was concerned. 

I am indebted to Byter Leo for putting me onto it in an email. 

After receiving it I looked into the background and circumstances of Mr Baker’s colourful discussion with Judge Daubney and found that the transcript was entirely accurate.

Mr Justice Daubney

After receiving it I looked into the background and circumstances of Mr Baker’s colourful discussion with Judge Daubney and found that the transcript was entirely accurate. 

Background to the case: 

Baker, 50, had been charged with attempted murder after stabbing his former girlfriend Margaret Revesz, 42, in the heart with a knife on 2 November 2009 at her Bray Park home, 25 kilometres north of Brisbane. On 22 June 2012 he was convicted and sentenced to 15 years imprisonment. The jury was told that Baker, after allegedly stabbing Ms Revesz in the heart twice, told her: "Margie, what have I done? Will you wait for me? I'm going to jail for a long time.'' 

Upon being convicted and sentenced, a section of transcript was released that had not previously been reported on or published in that it could have been prejudicial to his trial if a juror had read it. 

Background to the transcript: 

When Baker’s case had come to trial on an earlier occasion, he had been granted an adjournment after he had sacked his legal team, barrister and solicitors. 

Baker sacked his new solicitor on June 3, the day before the trial was to start. The solicitor and the barrister briefed by the solicitor thereupon sought leave to withdraw from the proceedings. Daubney J granted leave but directed that the trial should still proceed the next day as listed, as it did with new legal counsel appointed to represent Baker. 

Baker wasn’t too happy at Judge Daubney's insistence that the trial proceed and let his displeasure be known to His Honour, who managed to remain calm and dignified. 

The transcript: 

HIS HONOUR: I have been informed, Mr Baker, that you wish to dispense with the services of your solicitor and as a consequence of that your barrister is also seeking leave to withdraw, which means you will be self-represented for this trial. Do you understand that? 


HIS HONOUR: So you'll be representing yourself for this trial, do you understand? 

DEFENDANT: No, no way in the world. 

HIS HONOUR: Yes, way in the world. 

DEFENDANT: I'll get a new solicitor and barrister. 

HIS HONOUR: No, you tried that last time, Mr Baker. 

DEFENDANT: Look, now listen here, mate, you don't know what you're fucking talking about. 

HIS HONOUR: Now you listen to me. 

DEFENDANT: Don't blooming start your shit, right, mate. 

HIS HONOUR: You listen here Mr Baker. 

DEFENDANT: You weren't fucking there so don't start your crap. 

HIS HONOUR: Mr Baker. 

DEFENDANT: Were you there? 

HIS HONOUR: Mr Baker. 

DEFENDANT: Were you there? Were you there? No you fucking weren't. 

HIS HONOUR: Mr Baker. 

DEFENDANT: Because the arseholes did the wrong thing. Right? Read your fucking paragraph or scripts, mate. Don't start putting your fucking heavy crap on me. 

HIS HONOUR: Now, Mr Baker... 

DEFENDANT: You can get stuffed. 

HIS HONOUR:...the trial will be... 

DEFENDANT: I don't give a ... 

HIS HONOUR:...proceeding.... 

DEFENDANT: ...fuck, you and your trial mate. Stick your trial up your fucking arse. I'll go. 

HIS HONOUR: Sit down please Mr Baker. 

DEFENDANT: No, get stuffed. 

HIS HONOUR: Oh, all right. Now, Mr Baker, the trial will be proceeding. There is one matter that does need to be attended to. The principal witness for the Crown in this trial is a person who has the status of a ... 

DEFENDANT: I don't even know why you're fucking talking about mate. Talk in normal lingo, language. 

HIS HONOUR: The complainant in respect of the count of attempted murder is a person who ... 

DEFENDANT: Who are you fucking talking about? 

HIS HONOUR: ... is a... 

DEFENDANT: Stop talking in riddles. 

HIS HONOUR: ... is a protected witness under the Evidence Act and for the purposes of the trial, you will not be ... 

DEFENDANT: I don't know what you're fucking talking about. 

HIS HONOUR: Well, if you stop shouting at me and listen to what I'm saying you might start understand. 

DEFENDANT: What do you want me to fucking do? 

HIS HONOUR: What I want you to do is stop swearing at me and listen to me. 

DEFENDANT: I'm not going to fucking stop swearing at you. 

HIS HONOUR: All right then, it's a matter for you. 

DEFENDANT: Stick your fucking trial up your arse. 

HIS HONOUR: That won't be happening to me. 

DEFENDANT: I couldn't give a shit mate. 

HIS HONOUR: Well, that's a matter for you. 

DEFENDANT: Well you can start your trial and stick it up your arse cause I'm not having anything to do with it. 

HIS HONOUR: Sit down. 

DEFENDANT: No you get fucked. 

HIS HONOUR: Sit down. 

DEFENDANT: Go and get fucked. 

HIS HONOUR: Sit down, please. 

DEFENDANT: I'm not fucking doing what you say. Up you. 

HIS HONOUR: Sit down. 

DEFENDANT: You're not going to fucking tell me I'm going to be representing meself at all. I need legal aid. I need representation and not you and or any other fucking arseholes gonna tell me anything different. 

HIS HONOUR: Sit down, please. 

DEFENDANT: No, get stuffed. 

HIS HONOUR: If you don't sit down I'll have you manacled. 

DEFENDANT: You can fucking have what you like mate. 

HIS HONOUR: Corrective Services could you please restrain the accused.. 

DEFENDANT: Fuck you. 

HIS HONOUR: Mr Bailiff, could you ask security to attend the court please. 

DEFENDANT: Do what you fucking like. I've got no representation so that's it I'm not listening. I don't give a damn what you say . 

HIS HONOUR: The next people entering the court are the court security staff. 

DEFENDANT: Oh, what do you want me to do? What do you want, a Mickey Mouse badge? 


DEFENDANT: Stick it on your fat chest? Hey? What do you want? A Mickey Mouse badge. Come on fatso, what have you got to say for that? 

DEFENDANT: Oh, the mouse has gone quiet. 

HIS HONOUR: Security could I ask you to take up positions immediately behind the accused. If he moves from that chair you are to assist the Corrective Services personnel in restraining him. You are not to move, do you understand me Mr Baker. 

DEFENDANT: Get fucked. 

HIS HONOUR: Mr Baker, because (Margaret) Revesz ... 

DEFENDANT: Listen here lardarse, no fuck you. I don't give a fucking shit what you say. 

HIS HONOUR: Because Ms R... 

DEFENDANT: I don't give a shit what you fuckin' say. 

HIS HONOUR: ... is a protected witness ... 

DEFENDANT: I'm telling you now you can get fucked. All right? 

HIS HONOUR: ... the law requires ... 

DEFENDANT: Are you stupid or what? I don't give a shit what you fuckin' say. 

HIS HONOUR: ... that I arrange for you to be given free legal assistance by Legal Aid. 

DEFENDANT: I don't give a fuck. I couldn't give a shit what you say. What, are you deaf? 

HIS HONOUR: ... for the cross-examination of that protected witness.... 

DEFENDANT: Hey, lardarse, can't you fuckin' hear me? 

HIS HONOUR: ... unless you arrange for legal representation .. 

DEFENDANT: What are you deaf? 

HIS HONOUR: ... or unless you do not want that protected witness to be cross-examined. 

DEFENDANT: What the fuckin' talking about, I don't know what you're fuckin' talking about, lardarse. 

HIS HONOUR: Is there anything that you want to say in relation to me making an order ... 

DEFENDANT: Yeah, I don't know what you're fuckin' talking about, you silly old cunt. 

HIS HONOUR: Thank you for that submission, in which case I order... 

DEFENDANT: Well, you can fuckin' order what you like. 

HIS HONOUR: ... that Ms R... 

DEFENDANT: Order me a fuckin' pizza while you're at it. 

HIS HONOUR: ... is a protected witness for this proceeding ... 

DEFENDANT: Who gives a shit. 

DEFENDANT: Wait, what are these two fuckheads doing here then if they're not fuckin' representing me? 

HIS HONOUR: I give you leave to withdraw. Thank you both very much for your assistance. 

DEFENDANT: Yeah, piss off. Fuckin’ dogs. 

Some discussion about the trial opening... 

DEFENDANT: What's this fuckin' opening brief and that you're talking about, lardarse? 

HIS HONOUR:If your opening is going to be that short then you'll want to call the complainant pretty well straight away. 

CROWN PROSECUTOR: That's so, yes. I would submit the most prudent course is perhaps to allow the panel to go and then look to empanelling them tomorrow. 

HIS HONOUR: Yes, all right then. Now, Mr Baker, you can continue to interrupt me or you can listen to what I'm going to say. 

DEFENDANT: I don't give a fuck, I need representation. 

HIS HONOUR: No we're beyond that stage. 

DEFENDANT: No, hey, listen here you fuckin' stupid old cunt, I've got fuckin' paperwork here, if you weren't so pigheaded and using your big fuckin' fat lard arse, you might have fuckin' read it before you fuckin' jumped the gun, eh, but no, you had your fuckin' cocking mates here going on like a two bob fuckin' watch. I never said anything about fuckin' Don MacKenzie. I had a complaint against Ken fuckin' MacKenzie, right, not my barrister. I had nothing to complain about him, it was the other fuckin' prick and I wrote you a letter to fuckin' explain why. 

HIS HONOUR: Was there anything else you wanted to say to me at the moment? 

DEFENDANT: Yeah, why don't you fuckin' read it and see why I wanted to - what was it - blimmin' to adjourn for a while. There was a fuckin' reason for it. 

HIS HONOUR: No, there's no adjournments, Mr Baker, you've had ... 

DEFENDANT: Well, I don't give a stuff. You can't fuckin' sentence me or do anything because I'm doing a plea. The thing was when I got my plea overturned last fuckin' time, did you read it, why - what happened was because the barrister and solicitor stuffed up. I was putting in a complaint about Ken MacKenzie not revealing the parts I needed for my trial but you wouldn't listen. 

HIS HONOUR: Thank you for that information. Now what's going to happen is this ... 

DEFENDANT: I don't give a shit what happens, anyone comes in here, I'll fuckin disturb and I'll run amok. 

HIS HONOUR: Not in my courtroom you won't. 

DEFENDANT: Hey, don't fuckin' tell me I fuckin' won't mate. 

HIS HONOUR: Not in my courtroom you won't. 

DEFENDANT: You think these fuckin' jokers are going to worry me? Or the screws, what are you going to fuckin' do? 

HIS HONOUR: Whether they worry you or not is a matter for you. 

DEFENDANT:What are you going to fuckin' do to me. 

HIS HONOUR: What I'm going to do to you is tell you that your trial is starting tomorrow. 

DEFENDANT: Oh no fuckin' way mate. 

HIS HONOUR: Oh yes, your trial is starting tomorrow. 

DEFENDANT: You want a fuckin' bet? You want a fuckin' bet? I'll tell you what, I'll make a fuckin' bet, I'll make a bet with you and I tell you what, you'll lose your fuckin' fat arse. I'll put myself in medical, you cunt. I'll fuckin' slash up or I'll do something. You don't fuckin' threaten me you fuckin' dog. 

HIS HONOUR: You can take the accused down, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow morning at 10 o'clock. 

DEFENDANT: No I fuckin' won't, I tell you fuckin' now, you fuckin' lard arse. 

HIS HONOUR: Thank you for coming up gentleman, I'm grateful. I was actually called much worse things on the rugby paddock you know. 

“I don't know what you're fuckin' talking about, you silly old cunt.”

“Thank you for that submission.”

"Stick your fucking trial up your arse." 

"That won't be happening to me."

Love it.

Love it.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Quote for the Day

Some Profound Thoughts

I was wondering what to post today when Leo’s contribution arrived.  Some of his profound thoughts have been posted in Bytes before but I am not culling them, I am posting them as they arrived.  Thanks, Leo.

♦ Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

♦ I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

♦ I find it ironic that the colours red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

♦ A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.

♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.

♦ Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

♦ Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.

♦ You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.

♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”

♦ I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “ Sag Harbor ”

♦ My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

♦ My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.

♦ Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

♦ The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.

♦The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

♦ I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

♦ Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Quote for the Day

A message for my friend Tom C, who loves his cannoli, and, on another level, advice to the world at large . . .

An alternative version . . .

Melbourne's Building With a Face

In 2015 Melbourne’s Portrait Building, a 32 storey residential apartment block, was completed and unveiled.

Some comments and information:
  • The building is called the Portrait Building because, in a world first, it has used the shadows created by white balcony facades to create a portrait indigenous activist Willaim Barak.
  • The building:

(Move back from your screen to get a better viewing).
  • William Barak:

  • A quick bio on William Barak
William Barak (1824 – 1903), was the last traditional ngurungaeta (elder) of the Wurundjeri-willam clan, first inhabitants of present-day Melbourne.  
Barak was said to have been present as a boy when John Batman met with the tribal elders to 'purchase' the Melbourne area in 1835. Before he died he described witnessing the signing of the treaty ceremony.

He joined the Native Mounted Police in 1844, he was given the name of William Barak. A skilled tracker, he was often engaged to track missing children and fugitives from the law, even years after he'd ceased being a police tracker. Barak was part of the force used to track Ned Kelly and his gang, who he found hiding in thick scrub. He refused his white superiors orders to approach them first.

In early 1863, Barak with about thirty others, moved to Coranderrk Station, a self-sufficient Aboriginal farming community. In 1875 he became the Ngurungaeta of the clan. A spokesperson for his people, he was highly regarded by both the indigenous people and the European settlers.

Often named 'King of the Yarra', he was a prominent leader, spokesperson, artist and diplomat and cultural ambassador for Aboriginal Australia. A noted and dedicated land rights' activist, he led a march to the then Parliament House in the late 1800’s, a time when indigenous Australians were subject to harsh treatment and oppression by colonial policy.

Barak led the movement to secure land rights at Coranderrk, being quoted in a bio:

We heard little about our land going to be taken from us[…] They ought to leave us alone and not take the land from us it is not much. We are dying away by degree. There is plenty more land around the country without troubling about Coranderrk […]

We got plenty of our own cattle and we want the run for them and if the White People take it away from us there will be no place to put them […] and also when we go into any of the White People’s paddock to hunt or fish they soon clear us out of their private premises very quick and yet they are craving for Coranderrk.

The Coranderrk land was eventually taken by the government and, under pressure from the local RSL was broken into lots to be offered to returned servicemen after WWII, although none of the Aboriginal ex-servicemen of the district acquired any portion of the land.

He died at Coranderrk in 1903 aged 85.
  • Which brings us back to the building, which has a direct line of site to the Shrine of Remembrance, nearly three kilometres away. 
  • According to Daniel Grollo, chief executive of the project's builder, Grocon: ''The Shrine is about honouring a great set of Australians who made a sacrifice to Australia, and this is also honouring a great set of Australians who made a sacrifice for Australia.''
  • It has not gone unnoticed, and has been the subject of criticism, that 530 luxury apartments have been used to create a portrait of one of the most famous, indigenous 19th century land rights’ activists. It has also been said that this juxtaposition between affluent white land ownership and the image of William Barak forms a fitting tribute to William Barak and what he strived for, although the tribute is not in the way intended. It has also been suggested that his image staring down the Shrine of Remembrance is an additional homage to the unequal tribute to the fallen
  • (On a different note, nearly every film and TV item showing images of deceased indigenous persons is preceded by a warning, usually as follows: WARNING: Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander viewers are warned that the following program may contain images and voices of deceased persons. The protocols and Codes of Practice for film makers, journalists etc in this respect can be viewed at: So how is it okay to create a 32 storey portrait of a deceased aboriginal leader?)

One final note:

Is it just me or does anyone else get reminded of the image on the Shroud of Turin when they see William Barak on the side of the Portrait building? . . . 

Monday, June 26, 2017

Quote for the Day

Phillip Adams (1939 - ) is an Australian humanist, social commentator, broadcaster, public intellectual and farmer. He hosts an ABC Radio National program, Late Night Live, four nights a week, and writes a weekly column for The Australian.

Readers Write and Monday Miscellany



An email from Jay M in respect of the Sgt Pepper cover posts:
Hi Otto, 
Have you seen the Ted talk referring to the 'Sgt Pepper's' album cover by Jann Haworth? 
Mistakes, Omissions, and Iconoclasts: From Sgt Pepper to Work in Progress | Jann Haworth |

An email from Shirley G, in response to the post “Looking At . . . Places", which included the Sagano Bamboo Forest on the outskirts of Kyoto city (link at:
Good morning Otto 
On Sunday your Bytes showed several photographs of the bamboo walk in Kyoto Japan. A couple of years ago I was in Kyoto and had the joy of walking through the bamboo forest. At one point along the pathway there was a musician playing the pan flute – what magic it added to the occasion. Just wonderful. 
Once again Otto thanks for your daily bytes. 
With regards 

From Tobye P in the U S of A, in response to the post Looking Back: People, which featured photographs of famous people from years gone by (link at:
OMIGOSH-these are fabulous! 
Thanks so much-I love this kind of stuff-Churchill is thin! Hitchcock is-unrecognizable! Ghandi dances! And Queen E in the same brooch decades later-theirs is such a sweet story. Wonderful shots from the past-I am grateful that you shared these. Thank you Otto.

Sincerely, Tobye 

Thanks to all those who take the time to write, it lets me know that people are out there reading Bytes.


Tokyo's birds: 

Remember the Hitchcock movie The Birds, where all these thousands of birds gather and attack people? Birds everywhere (how did he do it???). Well, that is actually happening in Tokyo. For decades now birds of various species including crows, cormorants and owls have been winging it into the city and nesting, damaging, attacking and, of course, pooing. The increasing numbers of cormorants has also been damaging to the fishing industry and to flora and fauna. The cause of the increased numbers has been attributed to urban development encroaching on forests and breeding areas, plus the attraction of fresh garbage for food in a city of nearly 14 million people.

Interestingly the Oz musical group Birds of Tokyo (remember their hit Lanterns?) took their name from an article one member had read about the absence of birds in Tokyo's high-density central business district due to pollution and overcrowding. According to band member Ian Kenny "We thought that was interesting, no birds in Tokyo — we thought, we'll be the birds of Tokyo.”

Japanese photographer Yoshinori Mizutani has highlighted the issue of bird numbers with a photographic series he has called HANON, a reference to a French piano instruction book. You will understand why when you see some of his photographs below:


The Hardy Tree:

London’s St. Pancras Old Church, considered to be one of England’s oldest places of Christian worship, Hs an adjoining cemetery. That cemetery is the location of the Hardy Tree, an ash tree surrounded by hundreds gravestones, layered practically on top of one another.

Back in the mid 1860’s Britain’s expanding rail network needed part of the church’s land for a new rail line. In the way was the church’s graveyard, requiring the bodies to be exhumed and relocated. The unpleasant task was delegated to a lowly placed labourer who was destined find future fame as the author of Far from the Madding Crowd and Tess of the D’Urbervilles, one Thomas Hardy.

Thomas Hardy

Hardy completed the task but was left with a final puzzle: what to do with the hundreds of gravestones that were remained. Hardy elected to place them in a circular pattern around an ash tree in the churchyard in a spot that would not be disturbed by the railway. The Ash tree has matured, the gravestones have weathered but all remain The tree has grown over some of the gravestones, a somewhat apt metaphor for death and return to the earth.

Some other notes on St Pancras Old Church:
  • The architect John Soane designed a tomb for his wife and himself in the churchyard, that tomb being the inspiration for the design by Giles Gilbert Scott of the British iconic red telephone boxes.
John Soane's tomb

  • The poet Percy Bysshe Shelley and the future Mary Shelley, planned their 1814 elopement over meetings at the grave of her mother, Mary Wollstonecraft, originally buried in the cemetery.
  • Charles Dickens mentions it by name in his 1859 novel A Tale of Two Cities, making it the location of body snatching to provide corpses for dissection at medical schools.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Quote for the Day

- From Gulliver's Travels

So how much more applicable is this? . . .

Sgt Pepper Cover People continued: 5. Karlheinz Stockhausen (composer); 6. W.C. Fields (comedian)



Karlheinz Stockhausen

  • Karlheinz Stockhausen (1928 – 2007) was a German composer, widely acknowledged to be among the most important German composers of the 20th century and was one of the earliest to use electronic music in a classical context.

  • Frank Zappa, The Who, Pink Floyd. Jefferson Airplane and Bjork have acknowledged him as an influence.
  • The Beatles were also influenced in their musical experimentation at the time of Sgt Pepper (1967) by his use of electronic music, most notably displayed in "A Day in the Life" (1967) and "Revolution 9" (1968).
  • They could have used a better pic of him on Sgt Pepper, if you ask me. The hand with the shadow makes him look like The Joker . . . 

  • Stockhausen’s music was not without its critics, most notably within the ranks of his own peers of classical composers. When Sir Thomas Beecham was asked "Have you heard any Stockhausen?", he is alleged to have replied, "No, but I believe I have trodden in some" 


W C Fields

  • William Claude Dukenfield (1880[1] – 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a lover of alcohol who disliked dogs and children. It was often said that his real life personality and character were no different.
  • Some W C Fieldisms . . .
"I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I am indebted to her for." 
(From the film Never Give a Sucker an Even Break)

"Once, on a trek through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew...and were forced to live on food and water for several days!" 
(From the film My Little Chickadee)

“Women are like elephants, to me: I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.”

The oft-repeated anecdote that Fields refused to drink water "because fish fuck in it" is unsubstantiated.
  • Between 1936 and 1939, ill-health and on-set temperamental episodes meant that he made no films in that period. Radio work led to his becoming part of the Edgar Bergen radio show. Bergen performed as a ventriloquist with his dummy Charlie McCarthy, with Fields taking part with weekly insult-comedy routines.  Fields would make fun of Charlie about his being made of wood, Charlie made fun of Fields’ drinking:
Fields: "Tell me, Charles, is it true your father was a gate-leg table?"
McCarthy: "If it is, your father was under it!"

McCarthy: "Is it true, Mr. Fields, that when you stood on the corner of Hollywood and Vine, 43 cars waited for your nose to change to green?"

Bergen: "Why, Bill, I thought you didn't like children."
Fields: "Oh, not at all, Edgar, I love children. I can remember when, with my own little unsteady legs, I toddled from room to room..."
McCarthy: "When was that, last night?

  • Fields was hostile to religion, so much so that his Will left small amounts for family members and friends with the $800,000 remainder of his estate being left to establish “The W. C. Fields College for White Orphan Boys and Girls Where No Religion of Any Kind is Ever to be Taught.”
  • The ‘whites only’ clause was completely out of character for a man who treated blacks as equals and stood up for racial equality long before it was popular. Even after his change to his Will as above he paid off a $4000 mortgage on the house of his black cook. He also once ordered from his premises a man who used the word “nigger” within earshot of his staff.
  • There is evidence that Fields’ Will had originally provided that the orphans gift was to be for white and coloured orphans but that Fields changed it either when he heard that the Pullman Porters Union had formally voted to exclude whites, and/or when he was the subject of insolence (or perceived insolence) from a black servant he employed.
  • The Will was successfully challenged by his ex-wife, family and mistress with all of them sharing in the estate. As regards the orphan provision, Judge McKay threw it out, stating “Mr. Fields, in his lifetime, could have discriminated against other races but he cannot in death call upon the state to undertake the administration of his affairs and supervise a corporation which overrides the constitutionality of equality of rights common to all races.”
  • When close to death he was visited by a friend who found him sitting in the garden with a matini, reading the Bible. Quizzed by the friend, who knew of Field’s anti-religion beliefs, Fields answered that he was “looking for loopholes.”
  • The ultimate irony about Fields is that he died on a day that he had always declared that he despised. He died on Christmas Day in 1946.